Emily Orum, The Heart Ninja (she/they) is a pioneer and expert of sexual self mastery, intimacy, love, personal empowerment, and alternative lifestyle relating. She is also a conscious Kinkster, model, HEARTist, permissionary, singer, and storyteller. She embraces and holds the vision of a world of radical acceptance, inclusion, harmony, belonging and celebration within each other’s differences. She aims to empower each individual to own their authentic truth, sex, and design and create their own unique love and lifestyle. Her Heart Ninja tool belt is extensive embodying the tools of emotional, somatic, and erotic intelligence, codependence recovery, and over 15 years of therapeutic practices. She has achieved numerous certifications, and a range of skills and gifts as a Bodyworker, Sexual Pioneer, Sound Healer, Dom(me), and Visionary Craniosacral Practitioner.
Specializes in: Empowerment Work, Sexual Self Mastery, Conscious BDSM/ KINK, Consensual Non Monogamy: Relationship Design, Compassionate Communication, Interpersonal Relationship Dynamics, Parts Work Integration, and Attachment Theory
The Heart Ninja’s Life Journey into Awakening
I grew up in a household of opposing forces and division.
My Mother struggled with addiction and loving people who hurt and took advantage of her. She also found salvation in caretaking them. My father left when I was 5, became obsessed with work and climbing the corporate ladder, and holding true to republican conservative ideals and standards.
I was confused and fearful and thought humans were insane, dangerous, and judgemental. If I controlled and took on the responsibility of caretaking people who were damaged I would be safe and feel valued. This polarity of opposing forces of control, avoidance, and caretaking between my Mother and Father wounds created a disorganized attachment that has resulted in a lot of pain and suffering in my relationships.
I pursued a music career and left it due to cervical cancer at 23, collapsed in my trauma after my friend overdosed, only later to find myself married to another addict.
I had to address my trauma or pain or I was going to die. My soul knew there was another way. After leaving my marriage at 29, I deepened in my codependence recovery, sending me on an unstoppable path of the pursuit of healing, truth, love, and happiness.
I never fit into a box. I was a free thinker and lover. Since 25 I have explored variations of open relating, but never really went too far because I didn’t think I could. I wanted to go further, but my husband and I didn’t have the tools, knowledge, and support necessary to pursue it. I ended up leaving him to find myself in a relationship with a top expert in communication. I studied relationships deeply and became obsessed with desiring to learn the intimacy tools and skills that were not modeled in my childhood. We had a profound love, but we were not configured properly. We both changed ourselves out of our integrity and truth to make it work. (A codependent theme that I have suffered with in relationships.) Since then, we segued our partnership and I decided to come out and claim my full authentic self without shame: queer, poly, and an explorer of kink.
I dedicated myself to end hiding in every area of my life. I owned my unique pleasure and turn on, and released my shame about it. Since then, I have had another incredible partner in which we deepened our exploration of depthful love while exploring polyamory all the while building an artistic community of other adventurous growth oriented souls. Due to some differences in configuration and desires within our long term life trajectories and relationship configuration we segued our partnership.
I am currently sovereign and single, diving into deeper self love work. I am falling in love with me more and more each day.
